Boiling Over

I was trying so hard to not turn this into any angry blog, but I have to let off this steam. For awhile now I've been trying to get my "grown woman" on. You know going back to school, looking into buying my first home, building my relationship so we can be a family, you know all the good stuff. But it seems like everytime I turn around BOOM!!! there goes negativity. It comes in all forms. The school placing me in unsatisfactory academic status, CCIS telling me I'm doing to much "Overtime" to contuine subsidy, my job not looking hard enough into the 5 months of back overtime they owe me, my mom trying to put her hands into my pockets, but worse of all is "HIM". Now he hasn't done anything to stop me per-say but he isn't doing anything to help me. Now those of you who know me, know I have given more than enough chances for him to get his shit together. More so for the sake of my daughter and her future siblings(yes I plan to have more) but I also did not want to become a statistic. But more than days than ever before I feel like Keyshia Cole is my narrator "if he ain't gonna love you they way he should then LET IT GO!"

What makes matters worse is the fact that us doing this together is much easier on him than it is on me. i don't want to look at our relationship as a business deal, but if you did it just makes much more sense to do it together. Every time I ask how he feels about "us" he always gives his I want us to be together things are just sooo hard for me right now spill. I am so sick of his whining it is ridiculous. I feel like screaming as I type this because this is so frustrating. I feel so dumb for even having to sit down and put this all out there instead of just saying "Peace Out, deal with your own problems by yourself." I mean I know we have to communicate, we have a child together, but I so wish I could go Jesus with an exchange slip and get her a new daddy. I love my child with all the fibers that make up me, but I wish I bought her here under better circumstances.

I will give my child the best life I can with or without her fathers' willful help(oh because he WILL help) and hopefully she can do for her child what I wish we could have done for her.

HE is such a loser!!!!

Weight Watching

So I joined Weight Watchers(on the free trial of course) and I have been living by their flex point system for about three weeks now. I bought the scale, I read the materials, and count the points of everything I eat. I must admit I am totally impressed. It's not a diet it just a way keeping track of what you eat and not over eating. When I went to the doctors on 3/26 I was 151 lbs. today I weighed in at 142 lbs. Now that might not seem like big deal, but I have been trying to get just under 150 for a long time now and wasn't until WW that I was able to do it. Let me also mention that I work out 0%. So with almost ten pound lost and no sweating I think it is great! I honestly can see myself following this type of eating for a very long time. You have to be honest with yourself if you really want to do it. I don't go to meetings or anything I track everything online(what I eat, what I weigh, how many points I per day, etc). So I have no one to answer to but myself and I'm my worst critic.

Weight Watchers has become such an epidemic that you can find the point value of almost every food you eat on it's package or online even though it's not a weight watchers products. So it's really easy if you are serious about quick and easy weight loss. And I can say that after doing it for about a month that it becomes such a routine, that you just do it out of habit and then it just becomes your lifestyle. So I would suggest WW to anyone who is serious about changing their eating habit and shedding a few pounds painlessly.

note: if all of this is foreign to you, I would suggest attending at least one meeting for free and then signing up for the one week free trial online.


Summer is knocking at our doors!



Over & Out

Gimme my shoe!!!!!

Well the other day little one just threw all kinds of fits when her daycare provider took her shoe away from her. Now I know my child needs anger management or will need it if she continues they way she is going. But this little girl gets sooo angry. I mean I've never seen an infant (7 mos)gets so upset that she thinks she is telling you what is on her mind and will repeat it if you ask.

Now Mrs. J only took the shoe because she managed to get the velcro straps a lose (her new fascination), took the shoe off and proceeded to put them in her mouth. Well that on the lines of starting WWIII. Because girlfriend did everything short of have a conniption to get that shoe back. When I gave her the shoe back there was pure silence. She turned to Mrs. J and started babbling everything that sounded like baby curse words(in my opinion) along with head movements. Trust me people I am not exaggerating. I am partly ashamed that my 7 month old daughter even knows what it is to tell someone off. After giving Mrs. J a piece of her mind, Mrs. J took the shoe back to teach her it's not nice to talk back to adults. Well that was definitely the end, she fell out and had an attitude for the rest of the night. She didn't want to talk, play or eat. She cried her little heart out for about two hours(after we left daycare) and went to sleep. Now while i don't encourage this kind of behavior, it was definitely amusing to a degree. But as of that night those shoes are in the trash and she only gets shoes that tie up from now on. Now waits until she learns to untie those.

Over & Out

Career Change

After listening to a couple of friends talk about work I am seriously considering a career change. It's not a glamour job but the pay sure beats what I'm making now. I might have to sacrifice a lot of my time, something I'm not to willing to do with such a young child. But If this school doesn't accept my appeal I might have to just call a quits. I have to make more money sooner than later. So although it might not be what I want right this change could be a means to an end.

What happened to me marrying rich? Oh yeah!, My alarm buzzed and it was time for me to get the hell up and go to work! hahahaha


Over & Out

Cash Rules Everything Around Me

I am trying sooo hard to get on track for this house saving. I'm trying to harass companies that owe me money, bargaining with companies that I owe money, trying to cut back on unnecessary spending while still trying to enjoy the fruits of my labor. This shit is hard! Baby needs a whole new wardrobe, I want upgrades. When will this end!? Never, I know. But I need a break from daily spendage to just try to calculate and figure it all out. It will work it self out, I know but some time the end seems so far away. "The sacrifice will all be worth it later" i just have to keep telling myself.


until later


Over & Out