Craziness

Now you know you've made it when you have people you've never ever met in person trying to imitate you. I'm talking regular everyday Joe Schmoe people having their cyber identities jacked. Now that some swagger jacking for ya azzz!! I'm amused and amazed by human being everyday. If these people would apply this much energy to positive things that could actually make a difference in society they'll probably have their own swagger and advance to actually being somebody worth noticing.

While I'm a on roll...

I like to treat everybody equally so while I'm venting about my work woes, I also want to speak about my other co-worker, I call her the church or the hyena. She likes to back up or defend the SAB I told you about earlier. Now we never really took to each other. I guess being of the same zodiac sign, I just think our personalities clash. But that is ok with me. No love gained so no love lost. But when ever the SAB says something the church likes to say "AMEN". But the funny part is a few months back when the SAB and the church wasn't speaking they were acting just like me and the SAB are acting now. So how good of friends are you two hhhhmmmm.

Now I know you may wonder where I get hyena from , well I consider the SAB like "scar" from the lion king, of course I'm "mufasa", then there is the hyena. In the movie the hyena only got heart when scar killed mufasa and took over the jungle. Only I will not die and she can take over all she wants when I leave. But until then she will wait patiently and the hyena will laugh behind her in the shadow.

Bitchassnes....

As you can tell from the previous post I was going to have to lay hands on one or two of my co-workers but I have since simmered down. I had to come to a realization that the devil is always present but GOD"s presence is always stronger. The devil was presenting himself in the way of some serious "bitchassness" and my co-worker who I labeled an SAB(Shady Ass Bitch/the equivalent to a NAD) was only his messenger. I had to step out and analyze the situation and come out victorious.
Now my victory is that I hadn't allowed her to make me act out the evil thoughts that were brewing in my head for the most part of that day, but for me to stay calm go into that "bitchass" meeting and come out with not only my job but also letting everyone in there know that I will not allow them to try to assassinate my character and not asses their own. I handled myself with the utmost professionalism and even had my manager apologizing for taking up my time and not researching the allegations before calling me there. But the animosity still stand so she better not try EVER again to cross me.
Now I am child of GOD and I know I am a work in process. So as you can tell from this post I have yet to be purged of all of my evilness but I like to think that I am walking toward that righteous path. So you have to forgive me when you see that I mention GOD in a post titled "b**cha**ness", just know that GOD knows my heart.

I AM ABOUT TO...

BE GREAT BELIEVER IN HANDS ON TALKING TO CO-WORKERS IN A MINUTE.

TO BE CONTINUED.......

Calculus Fianale

Six weeks I sat in the front of my calculus class looking just this. Let's not mention that this was my second time taking this class. But after six weeks, a couple scary moments and wanting to drop the class a second time. I PASSED!!! Yes I screamed. I passed calculus in six weeks with a "C+". That is a huge accomplishment for me. Honestly I really learned and understand the material my professor force feed us in that short time. I am happy that I can walk away with not just passing but actually retaining the knowledge of material taught to me. Now if I really have to apply it to the real world I'd ecstatic.

Now on to statistics. 6 more weeks of math arrrgghhhh. Wish me luck.

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Cha Ching!!!!

Yes finally I have good news to report. As per my previous post Boiling Over my job owed me at least 5 months of back overtime. Well today we came to an agreement and the money is here!!! Yes they will be giving that to me along with my pay on Friday. Now ideally I would have gotten a separate check cut straight from my department (so skip the taxes) but for discretionary purposes I can understand why that wasn't done. So while it will be taxed(heavily) the pay out is here and I'm grateful. It goes straight to the house fund. that means I'm about 80% to my goal. New house coming soon bitches!!

P.S. It's hottttt out there; stay cool ladies!


Over & Out

Here I Stand

I just bought Usher's new cd "Here I Stand" and i really like it. Now don't get me wrong it's ain't ish on "Confessions" but it's much better than I anticipated. I connect with so many of the songs. When listening I can actually picture the video or a point in my life that reflects the lyrics. It really takes me to another place. I like going to that place because where I am right now ain't all that great. Anyways....if you haven't already got get it.

Me, Myself and Sex in the City

So I've decided to go see SITC tonight by myself. The rest of the crew decided to go see it without me and I was hurt but it's cool. I find it ironic to go see to the epitome of friendship movies without my friends but none the less I want to see it so I WILL go. I have on stilettos and I will stop for a martini after class and head on up to theatre. I will try to get a tad bit early to do a quick once over the mall(you know channel all the personalities I relate to from the movie) I may even get a phone number of a young cutie while I'm there who knows. I need a pick me up and hopefully I'll find it in the form of a good martini and a new pair of shades before I enjoy a much anticipated girly friend flick with some chocolates.



Reviews tomorrow chicas!

Calculus

As some of you may know, I'm back in school. Yeah and I'm not excited. I had my first calc test yesterday and I was a ball of nerves. I mean learning calculus is hard enough(well for me it is), but I have to master it in six weeks with at least a "B". That's a lot of pressure I'm not a diamond you know! So now that the first test is over I feel a little better. You know, once you know where you stand you can even study a little harder or continue with your current study habit and not feel so stressed. So I just hope I didn't fail.

Anyway, one down two to go.


wish me luck!

Words of Wisdom

ONE. Give people more than they expect and do it cheerfully.

TWO. Marry a man/woman you love to talk to. As you get older, their conversational skills will be as important as any other.

THREE. Don't believe all you hear, spend all you have or sleep all you want.

FOUR. When you say, "I love you," mean it.

FIVE. When you say, "I'm sorry," look the person in the eye.

SIX. Be engaged at least six months before you get married.

SEVEN. Believe in love at first sight.

EIGHT. Never laugh at anyone's dream. People who don't have dreams don't have much.

NINE. Love ! deeply and passionately. You might get hurt but it's the only way to live life completely.

TEN.. In disagreements, fight fairly. No name calling.

ELEVEN. Don't judge people by their relatives.

TWELVE. Talk slowly but think quickly.

THIRTEEN. When someone asks you a question you don't want to answer, smile and ask, "Why do you want to know?"

FOURTEEN. Remember that great love and great achievements involve great risk.

FIFTEEN. Say "bless you" when you hear someone sneeze.

SIXTEEN. When you lose, don't lose the lesson

SEVENTEEN. Remember the three R's: Respect for self; Respect for others; and responsibility for all your actions.

EIGHTEEN. Don't let a little dispute injure a great friendship.

NINETEEN. When you realize you've made a mistake, take immediate steps to correct it.

TWENTY. Smile when picking up the phone. The caller will hear it in your voice.

TWENTY-ONE. Spend some time alone.

Boiling Over

I was trying so hard to not turn this into any angry blog, but I have to let off this steam. For awhile now I've been trying to get my "grown woman" on. You know going back to school, looking into buying my first home, building my relationship so we can be a family, you know all the good stuff. But it seems like everytime I turn around BOOM!!! there goes negativity. It comes in all forms. The school placing me in unsatisfactory academic status, CCIS telling me I'm doing to much "Overtime" to contuine subsidy, my job not looking hard enough into the 5 months of back overtime they owe me, my mom trying to put her hands into my pockets, but worse of all is "HIM". Now he hasn't done anything to stop me per-say but he isn't doing anything to help me. Now those of you who know me, know I have given more than enough chances for him to get his shit together. More so for the sake of my daughter and her future siblings(yes I plan to have more) but I also did not want to become a statistic. But more than days than ever before I feel like Keyshia Cole is my narrator "if he ain't gonna love you they way he should then LET IT GO!"

What makes matters worse is the fact that us doing this together is much easier on him than it is on me. i don't want to look at our relationship as a business deal, but if you did it just makes much more sense to do it together. Every time I ask how he feels about "us" he always gives his I want us to be together things are just sooo hard for me right now spill. I am so sick of his whining it is ridiculous. I feel like screaming as I type this because this is so frustrating. I feel so dumb for even having to sit down and put this all out there instead of just saying "Peace Out, deal with your own problems by yourself." I mean I know we have to communicate, we have a child together, but I so wish I could go Jesus with an exchange slip and get her a new daddy. I love my child with all the fibers that make up me, but I wish I bought her here under better circumstances.

I will give my child the best life I can with or without her fathers' willful help(oh because he WILL help) and hopefully she can do for her child what I wish we could have done for her.

HE is such a loser!!!!

Weight Watching

So I joined Weight Watchers(on the free trial of course) and I have been living by their flex point system for about three weeks now. I bought the scale, I read the materials, and count the points of everything I eat. I must admit I am totally impressed. It's not a diet it just a way keeping track of what you eat and not over eating. When I went to the doctors on 3/26 I was 151 lbs. today I weighed in at 142 lbs. Now that might not seem like big deal, but I have been trying to get just under 150 for a long time now and wasn't until WW that I was able to do it. Let me also mention that I work out 0%. So with almost ten pound lost and no sweating I think it is great! I honestly can see myself following this type of eating for a very long time. You have to be honest with yourself if you really want to do it. I don't go to meetings or anything I track everything online(what I eat, what I weigh, how many points I per day, etc). So I have no one to answer to but myself and I'm my worst critic.

Weight Watchers has become such an epidemic that you can find the point value of almost every food you eat on it's package or online even though it's not a weight watchers products. So it's really easy if you are serious about quick and easy weight loss. And I can say that after doing it for about a month that it becomes such a routine, that you just do it out of habit and then it just becomes your lifestyle. So I would suggest WW to anyone who is serious about changing their eating habit and shedding a few pounds painlessly.

note: if all of this is foreign to you, I would suggest attending at least one meeting for free and then signing up for the one week free trial online.


Summer is knocking at our doors!



Over & Out

Gimme my shoe!!!!!

Well the other day little one just threw all kinds of fits when her daycare provider took her shoe away from her. Now I know my child needs anger management or will need it if she continues they way she is going. But this little girl gets sooo angry. I mean I've never seen an infant (7 mos)gets so upset that she thinks she is telling you what is on her mind and will repeat it if you ask.

Now Mrs. J only took the shoe because she managed to get the velcro straps a lose (her new fascination), took the shoe off and proceeded to put them in her mouth. Well that on the lines of starting WWIII. Because girlfriend did everything short of have a conniption to get that shoe back. When I gave her the shoe back there was pure silence. She turned to Mrs. J and started babbling everything that sounded like baby curse words(in my opinion) along with head movements. Trust me people I am not exaggerating. I am partly ashamed that my 7 month old daughter even knows what it is to tell someone off. After giving Mrs. J a piece of her mind, Mrs. J took the shoe back to teach her it's not nice to talk back to adults. Well that was definitely the end, she fell out and had an attitude for the rest of the night. She didn't want to talk, play or eat. She cried her little heart out for about two hours(after we left daycare) and went to sleep. Now while i don't encourage this kind of behavior, it was definitely amusing to a degree. But as of that night those shoes are in the trash and she only gets shoes that tie up from now on. Now waits until she learns to untie those.

Over & Out

Career Change

After listening to a couple of friends talk about work I am seriously considering a career change. It's not a glamour job but the pay sure beats what I'm making now. I might have to sacrifice a lot of my time, something I'm not to willing to do with such a young child. But If this school doesn't accept my appeal I might have to just call a quits. I have to make more money sooner than later. So although it might not be what I want right this change could be a means to an end.

What happened to me marrying rich? Oh yeah!, My alarm buzzed and it was time for me to get the hell up and go to work! hahahaha


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Cash Rules Everything Around Me

I am trying sooo hard to get on track for this house saving. I'm trying to harass companies that owe me money, bargaining with companies that I owe money, trying to cut back on unnecessary spending while still trying to enjoy the fruits of my labor. This shit is hard! Baby needs a whole new wardrobe, I want upgrades. When will this end!? Never, I know. But I need a break from daily spendage to just try to calculate and figure it all out. It will work it self out, I know but some time the end seems so far away. "The sacrifice will all be worth it later" i just have to keep telling myself.


until later


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Get Em Girl...

That me! I'm a "Get Em Girl" when I really want something I'mma go get it. Just like that. I set out to get my new car, got it!, I get my new phone this weekend, and now I'm out to get my house. I've been researching mortgage rates, grants, programs anything that will make getting me and daughter in the best house I can afford, SOON!!! No there is no BIG rush but I have set a goal for myself and I want to stick to it. This is the only time I'm happy to be working for my job making this peanut of a salary beacuse I basically qualify for every program under the sun. And shortly after I get my house I'm going to upgrade my job. HOLLER!!!! Yes I have tunnel vision and all I can see is a house with some type of yard at the end. No need for a sitter beacuse the party is at my place soon. I'm working finishing school which I know will be HARD but I have to do it. I need to do it!! I hope those words will get me through those longs nights of homework AFTER I get little one to stay asleep.


Wish me luck

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Good Friday.....

was just that, a good Friday. After little one's doctor's appointment me, her and her dad went to take pictures. Yesss all three of us. She had her hair braided and we were all color coordinated. We had a good time. I felt like it was just right. She was a little fidgety though, and didn't want to wear her hat but we got some good pictures of her and some nice ones of all us. We finished by grabbing some thing to eat at the near by Wawa on going home for a nap. She can wear you OUT! But at the end of the day I had nothing to complain about and that always makes for a good day.


Over & Out

Let me upgrade you....

Yeah so that exactly what I did. I went from a 2001 Accord to a 2008 Civic. I just thought it was time for a change and there is no time like the present. I am sad to see "Cory" go. With her went a lot of little amenities but the trade off for "Rhonda" is worth it and a much better choice for my pockets(in the long run). Although the new car smell makes me nauseous, the compliments I get every time someone notices me getting in my new car makes me forget for about it for a little while. So while I'm in the mood for change I'm just giving everything the next thing to get an overhaul in my cell phone. I'll post a poll for you guys to give me your opinion. I am slowly upgrading my blog so will notice a few color changes and other stuff bare with me while my page goes under construction. After the cell phone I think I'm going for my hair. I want it a little shorter in the back and maybe some color. I'm going to go naturally curly for a while but I need som shape to it first.

I'll keep you all posted, I promise!

Over & Out

Groupie Love

I peeped you as you exited stage left
I reached for you and drew me close
For those few seconds we connected
I surveyed the room for my girls "DO YALL SEE ME?"
We looked into each others eyes "I can read your mind"
I know you only got "4 minutes" so let's make this quick
So here we are "Making Good Love" and time is running out
So I stare then I plead "Don't take your Love away" can you stay just a little while longer?
You look then you say"There's nothing in this world I wouldn't do for you girl"
I say then "Don't say No, Just say Yes" but you have to go.
You've left me with nothing but a photographic memory
and now we're "Separated", I want you to know "You'll always be my first Love"

Groupie Love that is.

Over & Out

Get your head in the game

It touch me where I thought I no longer could feel
It made rethink and question all the final thoughts I had collected
It made me have hope, and a slight change of heart
I won't get my hopes up; been there, done that.
I will give you an "A" for effort but you get an "F" in timing
Don't get discouraged you still have a chance, you have the ball
Make a play! Before it's too late! You only have a few seconds left on the clock
And you have NO MORE TIME OUTS!!! So what u gonna do?
You can't ride on the high from the play you just made, you have to keep it coming
Show the vistitors the home team is where it's at.
It was a lovely gesture made others say "this is HOT!"
It almost made me wanna do more, ALMOST!!
I half way feel sorry for my lack of effort, but I'm ahead in the game I afford to sit a few out.
Get your head in the game and catch up!

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1st Valentine's Day Love of my life

although she dosen't know the difference my little is dressed for the occasion in her red & white w/ her pink "my 1st valentine's day bib". She has received more gifts than I did today. That goes to show how she is loved " by me & her me-mom". I am so blessed to have her in my life and although I show her and tell her everyday I want her to know today that she is indeed my valentine.


Happy 1st V-Day my little princess!! Mommy loves you dearly.


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Love Child

Happy birthday Nana! Today the to celebrate love and my for some a day to celebrate life. Today my Nana get to roll it all into one. As you alway say "I wish you luck, health, & wealth" right back you Nana.


Over & Out

I AM SO OVER YOU....

... and your smart mouth & critisicism. Sometimes you really sound like a hater. I love you but you just don't know what to say sometimes.



... and your mood swings. I will no longer make excuses for why things in your life is fucked up. You fucked them up.



... and your vindictiveness. Remember I don't need you, You need me. And I WON"T ask you for nothing ever again.



... and your jealousy. It's not my fault you can't grab a hold your life and keep together. Shit, I barely can but I refuse to show it to the whole world. GET IT TOGETHER



... and your sorry attempts. It took me awhile but I REALLY no longer want you. Take care.



... and your ability to make me feel ashamed. I have found my strength and will live life happily.



... and your lack of support. I held annomosity for all of you but I"m good and will be good without yall help. I am no longer mad but just know I think of ALL of you a little differently.



... and your cheap asses. One day this will all be JUST a memory. I can't wait!!!



... holier than thou attitude. Your shit stink too and you get reminded more often than you want to realize. Open your eyes and close your mouth you'll be a litter better off, I promise.





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Real Life Barbie Doll

that what's I treat her like sometimes. I'll say let me see how this looks on you, "CUTE!!" OK lets take a picture. "Hi mommas smile for me" Thank you. Poor child I know she is using baby curse words all the time. Gotta love it though.

Ahhh mother hood

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Torn

I feel like I am at a fork in the road with so many things. Friendships, relationships, career choices, education, & my living situation. I find myself faced with having to make a lot of decisions all around the same time. Some are very important, some can be dealt with later, and some can be left to just work themselves out. But all these decisions and thoughts consume me and keep me up at night. Sometimes I'm working and all of a sudden I stop and I'm obsessed with finding the details of a situation that just suddenly popped into my head. I can't seem to handle one thing at time right now. It's like I'm forced to multitask but never really finish anything. I know I sound crazy. Lately I feel like I'm going crazy but such is the life I chose so I'll live with it. Or do I?

Over & Out

GIMME A BREAK

Sometimes don't you wish you could just push the pause button on everything around you so you could get some things done and jump right back into life? Well I do. My life is in overdrive right now. With little one, work, soon school, trying to clear my credit so I can contemplate a house in the near future. Looking for a new job so I can comfortably afford this house. I just wish I could push pause. Doing this all by myself gets a little overwhelming sometimes, but I'm managing. Although, lately I've been having the sudden urge to be married. I don't know why. It could be my half assed sorry unofficial proposal from an ex, it could be that becoming a mom has made me feel like I need to be a wife, or it could be the baby's recent 4:45 am wakings and talks makes me wish I wasn't doing this alone. Either way, right now I keep wishing I'd wake up and be married already. I am feeling the need to come home, hand baby off, get dinner ready, we all sit down to eat, we play with little one, then get her settled and in bed, then on to grown up time. But that far from what happens and far from happening anytime soon. So for right now I guess I'll keep getting up and talking with little one until she off in sleepy land again. I know it is going to be a challenge but I know I can do it. I half want to do it alone so I can pat myself on the back say "I am every woman".

Nah who am I kidding. Mr. Right please hurry!!!

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Wrong Answer

So I spent the night and he was showing little signs that he wanted to be intimate. I sooo was not up to it but knew that probably would be the case when I went over there. Anyway he wakes and we start and about half way through:

me(in my head): i got mine please hurry up
him: r u ok? how do you feel?
me(out loud): I'm fine
me(in my head): oh wait wrong answer
me(out loud):oooh this is goood, OOOOHHH THIS IS GOOOOOD!!!!
him: you better be more than just fine.
me(in my head): sorry dang! I'm just going to bite the pillow and grunt. That'll work.

Hahahaha

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